The fish van pulled up, the driver leaned out and stared at the crowd. “What’s the crowd for?” “Manchester United are staying here.” “Jaysus! Must be their first time in Europe this season.”
Rude. But not entirely out of step with where United find themselves.
At Carton House on Tuesday morning, the welcome was kinder. A thick line of schoolkids, phones raised, jerseys on, waiting for a glimpse of players they know more from YouTube compilations than from title parades. Many of them have never seen Manchester United win anything truly big. How could they? It’s 13 years since the Premier League last belonged to Old Trafford. Their sense of the club’s greatness comes second-hand, passed down by parents and grandparents like family folklore.
That didn’t dull the noise. When Bruno Fernandes emerged, the sound was sharp enough to rattle the windows. It felt less like a training session and more like a boyband arriving on stage. Fitting, then, that inside, taking it all in, was Nicky Byrne.
“Woody! Woody!” he shouted, spotting Jonathan Woodgate across the way. Woodgate, now part of Michael Carrick’s coaching staff, broke off and strode over to embrace his old Leeds United youth teammate in a bear hug. A Premier League subplot, reunited in rural Kildare.
Scattered among the onlookers were serial winners of a different code. Paul Flynn and Carla Rowe, between them owners of 12 All-Ireland medals with Dublin, watched on. They know Croke Park as a second home. For United’s players, it will be a novelty when they face Leeds there in a friendly on August 12th.
Not everyone in the current squad is expected to make that trip. As Casemiro warmed up, a young voice cut through the morning air. “One more year, Casemiro!”
The chant has followed him since he announced he would leave at the end of the season, a plea wrapped in admiration. The Brazilian has admitted the refrain makes his wife cry. Whether that’s down to the affection shown to her husband or the prospect of another year in Manchester, he didn’t quite clarify.
United have had time to dwell on such things. Between their last game, against Bournemouth, and their next, against Leeds on Monday, lies a 24-day gap. No European football, no deep runs in the League Cup or FA Cup. Just an extended pause for a club trying to punch its way back into the Champions League places. Rested, rebranded as “refreshed”. A canny strategy, if you’re feeling generous.
They rolled into Kildare on Monday, chasing a change of scenery and a bit of promotional juice for that Croke Park date. Their arrival, though, brought unintended consequences. The Armagh panel had booked Carton House for a championship training camp ahead of facing Tyrone, only to find pitches tailored for soccer rather than Gaelic football. Cones, goals, grids – all drawn to United’s needs.
Oisín Conaty took it well. The Armagh man, a Liverpool supporter no less, shrugged and suggested United needed the training more than his county. The barb landed with a smile.
After the morning’s work, Amad Diallo and Bryan Mbeumo stepped out to face the media, many of whom had flown over from England. Mbeumo, the Cameroon international who joined United from Brentford last summer in a €75 million deal, dutifully nodded to his new surroundings.
He spoke of Leeds as “a big rivalry for the club,” of how good it would be to play “this kind of game especially in this historic stadium and big stadium.” He mentioned the large community of United fans in Ireland. “We’re very excited,” he said, giving Croke Park the respect its size and story demand, even if its place in football’s map is still new to him.
Mbeumo also took a moment to look back, paying tribute to the man now in charge at Brentford, Keith Andrews. The Irishman, once part of Thomas Frank’s staff, has stepped into the top job there.
“He’d been a big part of our success last season,” Mbeumo said. “He looked after the set pieces but he had already the capacity to talk, to motivate, to bring the best out of ourselves. I’m not really surprised by what he’s doing this season, especially because they kept a strong group. I am really happy for what he is doing.”
The obvious question lingered: who will be United’s manager next season?
“It’s not for us as players to decide,” came the line from both Mbeumo and Diallo. They kept their distance from the politics, but not from praise. Michael Carrick, in interim charge since January, has clearly made an impression.
“He knows the journey of the club, he knows how to talk to us as well, I think it’s been easier because he knew the house,” Mbeumo said. A simple phrase, but a pointed one. Carrick understands the corridors, the expectations, the weight of the badge. That familiarity has given this drifting giant something it has lacked: a bit of calm.
Training wrapped, the players drifted back towards the hotel, boots in hand, the morning’s work done. The kids pressed closer to the barriers for one last selfie, one last autograph. The fish van had long since gone.
Lunch awaited inside. On this evidence, they could safely give the fish a miss. The real question is whether this quietly staged reset in Kildare helps United avoid another season spent watching Europe from afar.
